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Desperate times, desperate measures. Young, pretty girls trapped in a Communist country, where college grads are hugely disproportionate to available jobs, where the middle class is growing but hundreds of millions of peasants still work the soil, and where unattractive, unsuccessful foreign men go to escape, are marrying these western men.
Most Chinese women marry for love. Others marry a foreigner to find a way out. I do not blame them. The Chinese do not have the freedom to travel around their own country let alone the world, as we Americans, Canadians and Europeans do. Hell, they can’t even view the BBC or New York Times online!
Who’s to Blame?
I blame the foreign men, men from countries like the US, Canada, the UK and Australia. I blame the men I’ve seen string along 4 and 5 Chinese girls at a time, some of whom may be in love, others who may just be playing the game. Either way, they waste these women’s time with lies and false promises. These are often “dirty old men.”
But I’ve also seen the naive, fresh off the boat 20-something boys who think this “innocent” Chinese girl loves them, and they readily hand over a green card, I mean, um,… a ring. Boys, don’t marry the first Chinese girl that bats her lashes at you. Young, stupid, inexperienced men, I blame you, too.
Chinese women are not bad people. The Chinese populace is like that of any other country, except in the unfortunate circumstance of having limited options. The few green card chasers do not ruin the whole, and I have worked and associated with many Chinese women who have zero interest in dating foreigners- and who even see clearly that some of these foreigners are losers in their home country, and would have little to offer anyway. Sadly, the unscrupulous few cast a negative image on the whole.
Also, some of these desperate green card chasers do not know what they are getting into. There have been stories of abuse, drug problems, and other issues with marrying these men. Ladies, ask yourself, “Why ISN’T he married? Why won’t people from his own country date him?”
The Solution
There would be many benefits to China embracing freedom and democracy. One of them would be a serious drop in phony Chinese-Western relationships. A free China will allow the Chinese women to be respected for their myriad accomplishments, and not to have to sell themselves for a one-way ticket out. Immoral men will stop targeting them, and innocent young men will get a chance to experience actual love with an equal (be her Chinese, African, European, whatever). Gold-digging only seems viable in a society with few options.
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