Cheating on the Rise?

By Tara Overzat

Cheating was ubiquitous when I was an expat in China. I witnessed firsthand the cavalier expatriates and frequent businessmen to Asia who cheated on their wives. One clever man told me, “My wife and I are separated.”

“Really?” I replied. “I’m sorry to hear that.”

“No, no, I mean by an ocean!”

However, it turns out cheating is also a big problem in America. There have been many studies on the phenomenon, but it is hard to aggregate reliable numbers due to the nature of secrecy in an extramarital affair. The Journal of Couple & Relationship Therapy (Atwood & Schwartz, 2002) reports what appears to be a shockingly high number: 50-60% of married men have cheated during their marriage. This may not be so startling to jilted ladies, but the study goes on to say that 45%-55% of married women cheated as well.

Are these one night stands? Do people find everlasting love outside of marriage? The duration of the affair and the frequency with which affairs occur was studied below:

“Affairs affect one of every 2.7 couples, according to counselor Janis Abrahms Spring, author of After the Affair,as reported by the Washington Post on March 30, 1999. Ten percent of extramarital affairs last one day, 10 percent last more than one day but less than a month, 50 percent last more than a month but less than a year, but 40 percent last two or more years. Few extramarital affairs last more than four years.” (http://www.menstuff.org/issues/byissue/infidelitystats.html)

Why the surge in cheating?  Perhaps widespread internet access is giving people more opportunities to express themselves with fewer limitations, and what starts as innocent e-flirting can become a full-fledged affair for some married people. The prevalence of co-ed workplaces, where some people spend 60- 70 hours a week, also brings about temptation.

So, men cannot stay away from women and women cannot stay away from men. Will we enter a new era where the morality of monogamy is compromised? Are the books going to be re-written to allow the occasional dalliance from a relationship?